My Funny Video Transcript

As part of my marketing efforts, I made a video of me reading from A Beast in Venice. Beforehand I looked at what other authors did, and learned about tags and keywords, and what to put in the description. I spent a few days working on it, including many takes.

I know I’m not a movie star, and I’m not a great orator. So, I’m not particularly proud of the result. But one of the things I learned during my research was that YouTube automatically makes a transcript of your video so it’s available as closed captions. The transcript of mine was very interesting.

Here’s what I said, in part:

Brigham Stone walked the ancient streets of Venice at night in search of a good martini. Streetlights glowed through the misty air, casting eerie light on the old bricks and ghostly shadows in the fog, like specters hovering above the paving stones.

The opening measures of Mozart’s Requiem still pulsed through his head, as did the images and names of friends and family members who had died recently, too young.

Here’s the transcript:

Burger Stonewall the ages truth about us I search martini. Streetlights float through this year yuri light all works ghostly shadows for mice sectors Haribo pays the opening measures Mozart's Requiem still polls service here as the images danger friends and fam numbers I recently to your.

I know I sometimes speak too fast, and talk as though I had shit in my mouth, but I don’t think it’s that bad. So, doesn’t that make the program that converts the spoken words into printed words useless?

On the other hand, it does have sort of a post-post-modern avant garde feel, and I kinda like the name Burger Stonewall.

Maybe what I’ll do from now on is to write something, then upload a video of me reading it. Then I’ll take the captions they come up with and put it in the form of a poem.

Burger Stonewall

the ages truth about us I search martini.

Streetlights float through this year

yuri light all works ghostly shadows

for mice sectors Haribo

pays the opening measures

Mozart's Requiem still polls

service here as the images

danger friends and fam numbers I recently

to your.

No?